


Can't help it

by dontbecruelx



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Angst, Bottom Uzumaki Naruto, Cheating, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Frottage, Guilt, Guilty Pleasures, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, I just can't help myself, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Naruto isn't a bad person, Not Canon Compliant, Public Hand Jobs, Sleeping Together, Spit As Lube, Top Hatake Kakashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:08:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22333942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontbecruelx/pseuds/dontbecruelx
Summary: Naruto was happy. He’d worked so hard to make the village a safe place for everyone, for his friends and those who had helped him along the way, and now, his family too. He worked tirelessly day in and day out to ensure it stayed that way—often not returning home for days on end and going out on missions by himself. It was lonely, but he was used to it at this point and now he was an adult he saw no point in complaining. But to say it tired Naruto would be an understatement. He was happy to have finally made it to where he was, to have a family of his own after spending so much of his childhood in solitude, a lovely wife who would do anything for him and comrades who stood by his side through it all. So why was he lying in the woods with nothing but his cloak between him and the grass, staring up at the sky and feeling so empty and frustrated? It had been so long since he’d felt another’s touch, besides Hinata wrapping him up when he’d pass out on the couch, or when Shikamaru would tap him to wake him up when he fell asleep at his desk for the second time in an hour. He knew it was his fault, though. But he was pent up and it was making him angry, something that was unlike him.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 24
Kudos: 109





	1. Found & Lost

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a series of three stand alone works but I've decided to take it further.  
> The series will remain up but I'll be updating here from now on with a new title.  
> I'm getting really into this it's really fun to write so I can't wait to see where this goes.  
> Thank you so much for reading!

Naruto was happy. He’d worked so hard to make the village a safe place for everyone, for his friends and those who had helped him along the way, and now, his family too. He worked tirelessly day in and day out to ensure it stayed that way—often not returning home for days on end and going out on missions by himself. It was lonely, but he was used to it at this point and now he was an adult he saw no point in complaining. But to say it tired Naruto would be an understatement. He was happy to have finally made it to where he was, to have a family of his own after spending so much of his childhood in solitude, a lovely wife who would do anything for him and comrades who stood by his side through it all. So why was he lying in the woods with nothing but his cloak between him and the grass, staring up at the sky and feeling so empty and frustrated? It had been so long since he’d felt another’s touch, besides Hinata wrapping him up when he’d pass out on the couch, or when Shikamaru would tap him to wake him up when he fell asleep at his desk for the second time in an hour. He knew it was his fault, though. But he was pent up and it was making him angry, something that was unlike him.

Kakashi was always reading weird books. Naruto could never wrap his head around it. Why he was always so immersed in reading in general was weird enough, but why them? He swore he must have read the same one multiple times, and as he grew up, he was always curious as to what they were about. It wasn’t until he found out that Jiraiya had written them that he swore he’d never lay eyes on the contents.

Naruto had been a curious kid, even after becoming a genin he was mischievous and still got a kick out of doing things he wasn’t necessarily meant to be doing, so the more times Kakashi swatted his hands away when he tried to snatch it from him or told him he was “too young” to be reading things like that, it only made him want to do it more. But usually he’d get bored with trying to take it after Kakashi repeatedly beat him up for it. But before he’d left the village on his mission, he’d grabbed it from Kakashi in passing without him noticing. After all, they were more than equally matched in strength now, and it wasn’t hard for Naruto to do things without Kakashi noticing now that he was retired. 

It had been a particularly difficult mission to complete by himself but he’d managed to get through it without having to call for backup with Kurama at his aid when he needed it. He should have been heading back to the office, so why was he just lying on the grass and contemplating reading the book he’d stashed away? He ended up nodding off for a while;He wasn’t sure how long for, but when he woke up he’d decided to just give the book back to Kakashi and not even bother reading it. He wasn’t interested, anyway. He didn’t have the time. But he remained still. His stomach in knots and brows stitched together while he tried to work out why he was feeling how he was. He looked down in frustration when he noticed his pants were feeling uncomfortable and adjusted his erection before deciding to get up and have some water before returning to the village. 

In his head, images flashed of Hinata caressing him and peppering him with kisses. So he shook his head and tried to think about something else. He squirmed where he was rested and started to feel something building inside of him. He felt uncomfortable and hot and his heart rate started to pick up. He shouldn’t feel like this. He shouldn’t be sexualising his wife when he can’t even make it home to see her. It didn’t feel right. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to touch her.

Naruto had never been a particularly sexual person, after two kids and being Hokage, he was too tired to do things like that, too busy to be thinking about something so trivial. But now he couldn’t settle no matter how hard he tried and the more he attempted to calm down, the more he thought about it. He wanted to be touched by someone. His pants were getting more uncomfortable and it was then he realised he’d probably have to deal with it when he got back to the office. He scanned his surroundings before getting up to adjust himself and have a drink. He wanted to touch. He _really_ wanted to touch. But he couldn’t do it here. He’d never done anything outside before, even when he was a teenager. He wriggled and tried to rearrange himself as he stood, but it wasn’t going anywhere. He got more embarrassed, continuously looking to see that someone hadn’t miraculously appeared. But of course they hadn’t. It was late and no one came out this far unless permitted. He was safe. He took a long drink of water and let the cool air hit his face while he attempted to calm himself down.

“Shouldn’t you be back at the office?” A familiar voice spoke from behind him and a firm hand rested on his shoulder. Usually, Naruto would have reacted instantly and put his defences up, but feeling the sensation just made him fall back against the man’s chest and let out a weak mewl. When he realised what he’d done, he flung his body forward and covered himself with his hands. “K-Kakashi-sensei!!” He kept his back towards him and did his best to hide the panic in his tone, but his cheeks were reddening more by the second and if he turned around, it would be impossible to hide the tent in his pants. Kakashi’s presence wasn’t helping in easing his arousal, it was getting worse and Naruto couldn’t work out why. 

“What are you doing?” Kakashi spoke calmly but with obvious curiosity laced in his tone. “N-nothing.” he breathed, kicking dirt with his feet. “What’s this then?” Kakashi dangled the book in front of his face from behind him and the quick movement made Naruto spin around to face him, dropping his water without realising what he was doing. He threw up his hands in an attempt to explain why he had his book but then panicked realising he’d left his groin exposed.

“Oh. I see.” Kakashi spoke quietly with his usual bland tone. “It isn’t what it looks like! I was just about to head back and return it." He was rambling, doing weird hand motions with one hand while covering his dick with the other before Kakashi cut him off. “It’s fine. You could have just asked to borrow it.” There was that tone again. How Kakashi sounded like that in literally almost every situation was beyond even his comprehension.

“It’s not fine!” Naruto was getting more flustered and upset by the second. He didn’t realise but tears were welling up in his eyes before he continued. “I’m so frustrated!” His face was so hot, he’d hadn’t been this embarrassed in a long time, especially not in the presence of his old Sensei. “Then deal with it and go home.” Kakashi turned around and sat himself down on the grass and opened his book. “I can’t do that out here!” Naruto’s mouth dropped open. “Sure you can.” He flicked through the pages effortlessly. “But you’re here...” His weak tone began to spill and the humiliation was only getting worse, but of course, his erection wasn’t going anywhere. “Okay, then I’ll continue my walk.” The older man got up before brushing down his clothes and turned on his heels to head into the woods but he felt a hand gripping the bottom of his shirt.

“Stay.” Naruto breathed. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he didn’t want to be alone. His thoughts began to race again. He wanted to be touched, so badly. He never thought in a million years that he’d be saying anything like this. He was a grown man. This wasn’t normal.

“Okay...”

With that Naruto made his way over to where he had been sleeping and scrubbed his face with his hands before shoving his pants down and kicking them off so he was just wearing his boxers. He was painfully hard and it was only getting worse, so much worse now Kakashi knew and was watching.

Kakashi followed after him and sat back down, picking up his novel and lazily reading it while he watched Naruto. He couldn’t help it, watching him fumble, hands shaking as he pulled his cock out was making Kakashi hot himself. He held his book in one hand and let the other fall lazily between his legs while he watched him.

Naruto sat with his legs stretched out and stared down at himself for a little while before he finally got the courage to do anything. Just the cold air hitting him was enough to make his cock twitch and throb. He needed something. He didn’t know what, though. He finally got the nerve after a couple of minutes and began to stroke himself slowly and with uncertainty. It was clear to Kakashi that he didn’t do this very often.

Naruto’s breathing started to pick up when he got his rhythm, he began to caress his chest mindlessly with one hand while he picked up the pace with the other, rubbing his fingers over the wet head of his cock to get that extra lubricant. He let his head fall back and he looked up at the sky as he worked himself. It felt good, so much better than when he’d played with himself alone in his office when everyone had gone home. Just knowing his Sensei was watching him was making him feel so different, unlike anything he’d ever felt prior to this. A wave of guilt washed over him but he shook his head. He was too tired and fed up to care.

Kakashi didn’t know what he was doing. He should have left. He definitely shouldn’t be sitting here half hard watching the Hokage jerk off, but he couldn’t take his eyes away from the man. He looked so innocent, so unguarded, he’d never seen him like this before and it was beyond intriguing. He felt his cock twitch in his pants and that was when he knew this would become a problem very quickly.

Without thinking, he slowed down his pace, but kept fondling his chest under his shirt. “Hey Kakashi, why did you come out here?” Naruto took his hand away and let the air hit him some more. Something about it was oddly satisfying and made him ache inside. Kakashi couldn’t take his eyes away. 

“You didn’t come back, I was worried.” He couldn’t help but look at the shiny head of his swollen cock, desperate to be touched. This was so wrong on so many levels, he knew this. He definitely knew this, so why couldn’t he look away? Why was he hard? Why did he want to touch this man who had placed so much trust in him over the years? Why did he want to ruin him?

“I’m exhausted.” He admitted. “My family is sick of me. I doubt my wife even wants to touch me anymore. And I don’t know if I want to touch-” Naruto sighed and cut himself off, taking his hand and starting to lazily trace his fingers over himself again before he said something he shouldn’t about the woman who had done so much for him over the years. Yet here he was, touching himself in front of Kakashi, wracked with guilt but feeling more turned on than he had in years.

_**I want to touch you.** _

“You want to touch me?” Naruto flicked his head around to face Kakashi, shock painted across his face.

_Wait, did he say that out loud?_

Something inside Kakashi snapped in that moment. The next thing Naruto knew, Kakashi was sitting behind him. He could feel his hard cock pressing against him. “Yeah.” He breathed into Naruto’s ear, making him shudder. “You really want to?” Naruto turned his head slightly and buried it into Kakashi’s neck without thinking and took in his scent. “Let me show you.” He let out a low growl. Kakashi took Naruto’s hand in his and guided it back to his length, Naruto didn’t even know what to say, but he couldn’t ignore Kakashi’s erection against his ass, he unintentionally ground back into him slightly before letting him guide his hands back onto himself. 

Kakashi was hardly touching him besides the odd brush of his fingers, but Naruto was in sensory overdrive already, he couldn’t believe what was happening, he could only lie back, nuzzle into Kakashi’s neck and let him guide his motions. It felt incredible, the new sensation making Naruto feel things he’d never felt before. It was like the man knew exactly where to touch to make him feel the most pleasure possible. It sent waves all over his body and all he could do was lie there with his eyes closed and let his old Sensei guide him. He started slow at first, showing the man how to properly grip himself and the way to move for it to feel best, like he was teaching him exactly what to do. Naruto was already letting out little moans and whines, it was making Kakashi’s head spin. He stroked Naruto’s hair with his free hand, unable to stop himself from whispering things into his ear.

“You’re so good.”

“You deserve this.”

Naruto couldn’t help but bring his hips up to meet his movements, before he knew what was happening he was fucking into both of their hands, but it wasn’t enough for Kakashi. He’d already taken it this far, so he wanted to feel more. He took Naruto’s hand away and placed it on his own thigh before hesitating for a moment.

“Trust me.” He breathed before beginning to work him with his hand alone. He brought the other up under his shirt, tracing his naked skin with his fingers. He was so soft, so warm. When Kakashi tweaked one of his nipples Naruto bucked up almost instantly. He couldn’t believe what he was feeling; it felt incredible, a new sensation he’d never be able to get enough of. He was sure of it. This would become a _big_ problem.

Naruto was so warm and looked so small beneath Kakashi, although they were practically the same size now. He couldn’t help but pick up the pace and started to stroke faster, hitting all the right spots to have Naruto whining and begging for more.

“Please.” He cried out, throwing his head back. That was all Kakashi needed, he gripped harder, wiping his thumb over Naruto’s slit to gather the pre-come before stroking his throbbing cock faster and harder, the only sounds in the air the wet noises his hand was making and the little, sickeningly sweet moans escaping from the Hokage’s lips as he got closer to the best climax of his life so far.

Any guilt was long gone as he relished at the moment, enjoying and truly feeling every single stroke of Kakashi’s hand and the way their bodies were so close to each other. It felt indescribable, a feeling of true bliss he’d never experienced before as his toes began to curl and he felt something brand new.

“I’m gonna come…” He growled out, but he was still fucking into his hand, this time faster and more urgent.

“It’s okay, let it out.” Kakashi let himself go completely in that moment and without realising what he’d done, he’d pulled his mask down, yanked Naruto’s chin up and started to kiss him. He gently traced his tongue along Naruto’s lips before carefully letting himself go inside, sweeping the inside of his mouth with his tongue. He tasted so sweet, like innocence incarnate despite everything that had happened to him over the years. Naruto was too out of it to care, not that he would have resisted anyway, his tongue met Kakashi’s with a wet moan and they moved together messily as Naruto started to chase his orgasm. He couldn’t hold it any longer. His body started to shake and he thrust up into Kakashi’s hand one last time before feeling a wash of pleasure cover his entire body, it was sensational. There was no way to describe it. He cried into Kakashi’s mouth, biting his lip hard as he came into his Sensei’s hand.

Kakashi was in shock, watching the man panting and writhing beneath him. He couldn’t believe what he’d just done, but he didn’t regret it, he’d never been more turned on in his life. Naruto relaxed into Kakashi, letting himself come down from his orgasm. Kakashi gently stroked him one last time while caressing his hair and Naruto flinched, feeling hypersensitive before he took his hand away. He couldn’t stop throbbing; it was the most beautiful thing the man had ever seen.

Naruto thought guilt or regret would overcome him, but it didn't, he wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but it was good and it was wrong and he wanted to do it again. When he caught his breath, he looked up to Kakashi through blonde lashes.

_“It’s your turn next.”_


	2. Where's my mind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t want you to go.” Kakashi’s voice was soft and kind. Naruto finally got the courage to move and walked over to his bed before planting himself at Kakashi’s feet. “I’m sorry.” Naruto breathed. 
> 
> “Me too.”

After that night, surprisingly things went back to normal, at least that’s what they both thought. Kakashi decided it would be best to keep his distance and Naruto buried himself in his work to try to distract himself from the guilt he was feeling. He was going home even less now and everyone was noticing. It was becoming increasingly obvious that he was avoiding something and it was making everyone worry. Naruto knew this, but he did nothing. Just kept working as hard as he could so that no one could complain. He made sure to see the kids as much as he could, but he’d unintentionally been avoiding Hinata. Or maybe it was intentional, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

He didn’t want to bring any of it up to Kakashi, not that he ever had the chance, anyway. But so much had happened in such a short period of time. He hadn’t even seen his old Sensei’s face before that night, yet within moments Kakashi had pulled his mask away from his face to kiss him. When he woke up the next morning on the couch he’d tried to remember what he looked like in that moment, but with only the stars lighting the sky, he could barely see him. He woke up to his concerned wife, wondering why he was behaving so strangely throughout breakfast, but he tried to brush it off and act like nothing had happened, which was surprisingly easy. The guilt he felt when he woke up lasted but a few moments before he was wondering when he’d be able to see Kakashi again and before long he was kissing his daughter on the head and leaving for the day. 

He hated to admit it, but he wanted to see him again. He tried to push it down for days, spending all of his time in the office and taking any paperwork or task he could to distract himself from the ache inside of him. He’d started jerking off more, which was something he very rarely did in the past, he’d lock himself up after dark and think about that night, think about Kakashi’s hands tracing his skin and shudder at the thought. It was wrong. It was so wrong but… he wanted it again more than anything. His sex drive was non-existent before. Now he craved his touch. He craved him.

He longed for the next time they’d get to be alone together but it always seemed impossible. Something would always get in the way, not that he was particularly seeking it out. In the past, there had been a lot of times when Naruto would stay to train with Kakashi after hours, but now that was all history. He didn’t know what he wanted or needed. He was confused and now felt more alone than he had in a long time. After a few weeks, he began to wonder if it really was just a mistake, if Kakashi was just tired that night and lost his composure, whether he regretted it and didn’t want to touch him anymore.

Maybe he regretted it too, he didn’t know.

Kakashi was conflicted. He wanted more than anything to kick Shikamaru out of the office and bend Naruto over his desk. But he knew it wasn’t right. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking such things. So he pushed them down and didn’t go to see the Hokage unless he was called upon. He tried to push it out of his head. He did something wrong; he knew that well enough. But why couldn’t he stop thinking about it? Why did he want to do those things again? Why did he want to do even worse to him? So many nights he’d stopped himself from going to Naruto’s office. So many nights he’d spent lying awake wondering if he’d done something that would truly damage his future. But he wanted to see that pretty face again. Wanted to hear those sweet moans and feel him come apart beneath him.

He tried to maintain distance, but that only seemed to make things worse. Naruto appeared withdrawn, and his mind was always elsewhere during his work. Luckily, they hadn’t had any major missions or it could have gotten dangerous. He was tired and lonely. Nights felt so much worse now than they had before. He wanted Kakashi. He’d lie in bed at night with his face buried in the pillow, wondering when or if he’d ever get to experience that again, even though his loving wife was sleeping soundly at his side.

Naruto was growing more and more impatient and confused. He thought he liked women. Why was he so caught up on the thought of this man? Why did he want his praise? He snapped one day and Shikamaru told him to take a break. He decided on a whim to summon Kakashi to spar with him. Kakashi put up a fight at first, but Naruto persisted until he agreed. He wasn’t thinking straight. They went to the same clearing in the woods, walking silently, and Kakashi knew something wasn’t right. He should have said no. They both knew they shouldn’t be alone together, but they did it anyway.

They were sparring and when he lost and was pushed to the ground with Kakashi towering over him, only inches away from his face, pinning him down by both hands with a kunai to his throat. His cheeks flushed pink, he was so close he could feel Kakashi’s breath on his face through his mask and it was obvious he was smiling behind it.

“I win.” He spoke calmly, as always. It made Naruto’s stomach turn. He kicked out from underneath him but Kakashi held him there for a second longer.

“Don’t touch me!” He growled out, kicking harder until Kakashi let him go. He got to his feet and sprinted away as fast as he could, hearing Kakashi sigh as he made his way through the trees and back to the village.

“You asked me here.” Kakashi said to himself before slumping against a tree.

Why was his heart beating so fast? It made him sick. He didn’t care. He shouldn’t care. Truthfully, he’d done this as a test. And he failed. He was flustered by Kakashi and craved his touch. That much he knew now. He felt so guilty. So sick and tired and like the worst husband in the world. But he couldn’t stop his thoughts. What would have happened if he didn’t run away? He stormed back into the office and sunk into his chair before delving back into his paperwork.

“That was a quick break.” Shikamaru commented.

He spent the rest of the day there. That was when he decided he would not get hung up on this anymore. It was just a stupid mistake between the two of them. It wouldn’t happen again. He told himself over and over that he didn’t care. That he didn’t want him. Didn’t need him. That he was normal and he liked women and he loved his wife. He loved his wife.

One night he couldn’t sleep. Usually he’d pass out on his desk with no problem, but no amount of work would tire him out enough. Nothing could calm his thoughts. His final thread of patience snapped and before he knew what he was doing, he was outside of Kakashi’s bedroom window.

Kakashi was reading when he looked out of his window and almost jumped out of bed.

“What are you doing here? You scared me.” Kakashi spoke calmly, but he really wasn’t expecting to see Naruto perched on his open window ledge at God knows what time of night. “I came to see you.” Naruto spoke, letting himself into the bedroom without permission. “Okay...” Kakashi put his book down and sat upright. Naruto ignored him and kicked off his shoes before removing his jacket and putting it at the bottom of the bed. 

“What are you doing?” He didn’t take his eyes away from the ground, fumbling with his shirt and trying to keep himself calm so he didn’t say something stupid. Something he’d regret more than what’d already happened. “I came to talk.” Naruto started. “This isn’t a good idea.” Kakashi spoke dryly. Naruto didn’t look up. He couldn’t look him in the eyes. If he did, he’d want more. He’d seek validation in those eyes.

“Listen, about that time…” He went to step closer, but Kakashi threw his hands up in surrender. “We can just forget about it.” He didn’t want to say that, but it just came out. He didn’t want to forget about it. “I don’t regret it.” Naruto’s words were gentle now. “I wanted to stay away, so I didn’t hurt anybody. But I… I just can’t, you know?” Kakashi paid close attention to everything he was saying. Naruto’s cheeks were heating up and his heart wouldn’t slow down no matter how much he tried to remain calm. “If you want me to leave, just tell me.” Naruto scratched the back of his head. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to come here, after all. 

“I don’t want you to go.” Kakashi’s voice was soft and kind. Naruto finally got the courage to move and walked over to his bed before planting himself at Kakashi’s feet. “I’m sorry.” Naruto breathed. 

“Me too.”

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Naruto felt sick to his stomach. He couldn’t believe what he was saying. He had a wife and children at home but still, he was here, sitting at the foot of a man’s bed and asking permission to stay the night. “You want to?” Kakashi looked up at him, his thick lashes and sleepy eyes making him look even more gorgeous than usual. “Yeah.” Naruto spoke before getting up and undressing down to his boxers and t-shirt.

“I want to be with you.” He repeated. He couldn’t believe what he was saying, the words were coming out on their own but there was no doubt in his heart that this was what he wanted tonight.

“Come here.” Kakashi extended his arm. Naruto paused for a second. His heart thumping hard in his chest. He was in Kakashi’s room. In Kakashi’s bedroom. Another man’s bedroom. Naruto took his hand and got into bed with him, before long he was curled up next to him, resting his head on his chest so he could hear his heartbeat. Kakashi’s hand lingered in the air before he settled it on Naruto’s back, rubbing soothing circles into his skin. They both let out a sigh in unison. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered again. “It’s okay.” Naruto confessed before burying his head into his shirt to hide his embarrassment. “I’m here.” Kakashi breathed, bringing his hand up to lightly stroke Naruto’s hair before pulling down his mask once more and placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Okay.” Naruto let his eyes fall closed as he settled into the man’s touch. It felt so right. Like this was where he belonged. He drifted to sleep in no time with Kakashi stroking his hair soothingly. The man let out a long sigh before pulling the blankets over the two of them and slowly, he let himself doze off as well. They both slept peacefully together, Naruto didn’t move from his spot on Kakashi’s chest all night and it was the first time in a long time that the man had slept through the night uninterrupted. So much so that he was late and sprinted into the office, dishevelled and looking guilty as sin in front of Shikamaru.

“Let’s begin for the day.” Naruto spoke with a smile as he sat at his desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know I had a weakness for this until now. I always shipped Naruto and Kakashi but I never even thought about it in this time period. I've got so many ideas and so much to write for them. Thanks for reading! ;;


	3. Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But you know I really want you, right?” Naruto huffed, hiding his flushed cheeks in his jacket. It was wrong, it was dirty, but he’d never wanted someone this badly before. He would be too ashamed to admit to the fact that at this point, his wife was crossing his mind less and less. He made sure to tend to his children as well as he could, the same as he did before this all happened, and he ensured nothing bad ever happened to Hinata. What he didn’t realise, though, was that he was probably doing the worst thing possible to her, without her even knowing.

Naruto had this new-found comfort in Kakashi now. More often than not, he’d sneak over to his place at night when he’d finished his duties and curl up beside him in bed. Earning them both the sweetest of dreams and the most comfortable night’s sleep. He would look forward to these nights all day and would work as hard as he possibly could throughout the day to ensure nothing was ever being looked over. Besides his wife. He felt awful. He knew when he could go home, he should be going to her, but he wasn’t, he’d ache for when he could finish work and go back to Kakashi. No one asked questions. Hinata would always assume he was at the office and by the time Naruto left, no one was ever around to see him leave. The man waiting up for him seemed to make it all worth it, that’s what he thought. He had always adored Kakashi, but now as time went by his feelings were growing stronger and he didn’t know how to deal with them, but he didn’t care, he was receiving a love he had never experienced before. Never allowed before. Tender aftercare after work that made his heart ache.

Kakashi would help him bathe, wash his hair for him while singing his praises and telling him how proud he was of him. Telling him how far he’d come in such a short span of time and that he was so thankful to have him by his side. He’d massage shampoo into his head, dry his hair for him and ensure he was getting everything he needed. He was eating better now, Kakashi would drop by and bring him food without anyone knowing. Sometimes they’d share meals together after a long day. He was so happy; he felt so full. Kakashi was the same. When they were alone, he could be so docile and caring. He became so pliant for Kakashi and he revelled in it, taking it in as much as he could. When Kakashi would go out alone, Naruto would await his return and greet him at the village gate with no one knowing. He’d perform first aid on him to the best of his abilities and even would be the one to cuddle him to sleep sometimes. It wasn’t one sided at all. They both loved and took care of each other in the most precious ways. They’d formed a deeper bond than they would have ever expected and trusted each other implicitly. Naruto already knew Kakashi would die for him, and he could honestly say he would do the same in a heartbeat. He wanted to protect everyone. He wanted to make sure his village and everyone in it could live in peace forever. He kept his word. He worked hard and did everything Kakashi told him, took every direction from him and would work so hard on his duties until they’d both collapse in Kakashi’s bed. Too tired to do anything but tangle their limbs together and fall asleep until morning.

This went on for months. Kakashi never pushed his luck with Naruto again. He never teased him more than he should have, never pushed him further than he thought he could handle. He was so besotted with him but he didn’t want to hurt him. The first night was a lack of judgment on his part. Although he wanted it and Naruto didn’t say no, he knew it was wrong of him to do something like that. And he was still trying to wrap his head around this relationship that they’d formed. They’d kiss and cuddle all evening when they were together, until they were both panting, saliva dripping down Naruto’s chin. But he never took it any further, no matter how painful it was for both of them.

They’d talked about it, too. 

“It isn’t because I don’t want to.” Kakashi had to make sure he understood. “But you know I really want you, right?” Naruto huffed, hiding his flushed cheeks in his jacket. It was wrong, it was dirty, but he’d never wanted someone this badly before. He would be too ashamed to admit to the fact that at this point, his wife was crossing his mind less and less. He made sure to tend to his children as well as he could, the same as he did before this all happened, and he ensured nothing bad ever happened to Hinata. What he didn’t realise, though, was that he was probably doing the worst thing possible to her, without her even knowing.

“I want you, too.”

He’d have Naruto grinding down into his lap, but he still refused to touch. He’d trace his hands under Naruto’s shirt, dance his fingers all over his skin, but he wouldn’t go below the belt. Naruto was married. He was his old student. He tried to remind himself of that. Naruto also wanted to be careful; he didn’t want to hurt him or break him and he wasn’t sure quite what he was capable of, but he got impatient one night, Kakashi was towering over him on his bed, running his hands all over his legs and thighs, kissing and sucking his chest and collarbones but being careful not to leave any marks, Naruto was grinding himself down on his thigh for some much-needed friction. He wanted to beg. He wanted to feel him again. But he couldn’t bring himself to ask. Kakashi broke the kiss, noticing a wet patch forming in Naruto’s pants as he was humping Kakashi’s thigh. Naruto’s cheeks flushed wine red.

“It just feels really good, you know?” He panted. Kakashi smiled. And Naruto revelled in that. He loved being the only one who got to see Kakashi under his mask. He felt so special. It was sick.

He ground his crotch down so that Naruto could feel his own erection. “It feels really good for me, too.” He breathed before leaning down to steal another kiss. They spent so many nights like this, basically humping each other over their clothes. Naruto would have to go home some nights and relieve himself in the bathroom before he snapped and let Kakashi fuck him, and he told him to do the same. They both felt lonely when they slept apart. But they couldn’t spend every night together or they’d arouse suspicion from others. Naruto couldn’t stand the thought of Hinata finding out. He loved her, of course. But the more time passed, the more he realised, and came to understand how he felt under Kakashi’s hands. A way he’d never felt before in his life. Not with her.

They spent months growing closer together, forming a bond that was difficult to describe with words. Naruto was sure now, this wasn’t just desire anymore. He wondered if Kakashi felt the same. After all the time they’d spent together. All the nights he’d fallen asleep in his arms. Surely, he felt something too? More than just lust? And he did. Kakashi had to control himself. He couldn’t understand how he’d managed to fall in love with him. His own student. The married Hokage. But he had, and he already knew that he could never push him away. If he were to leave, it would be of his own volition. Kakashi would do anything to ensure his happiness and prosperity. That was no exception in this relationship either. He didn’t want to do anything that would cause Naruto pain. That’s why they had been waiting. If Naruto had the chance to sit on it, to really think about what he wanted, Kakashi made the sick justification that… it would make it okay. Even though he was married to another. He’d be able to stay with him. 

One night he was about to fall asleep at his desk in the office, everyone had long gone home and he curled over his desk, frustrated and sad. He wanted to touch him. He wanted him to touch him again, too. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he heard a light tap on his window. 

He jumped up within seconds and span around in his chair to see Kakashi waiting with his mask already removed, his hair wasn’t spiked up like usual and he was dressed down in casual loose-fitting clothes. He smiled weakly and tapped on the window again. Naruto blushed, realising he’d just been sitting there staring at him and quickly opened the window to let him inside. 

“Come with me.” Kakashi spoke quietly. He was impatient tonight. Naruto pouted, he wanted to look away, but for some reason he couldn’t. Kakashi’s features were even more prominent today. He was so handsome and Naruto hated to admit it, but he really was the perfect man. They both ran together back to Kakashi’s apartment and kicked off their shoes and before either of them knew what had happened, they were both sprawled out on Kakashi’s bed. He shouldn’t be there. He knew that. But it made him feel so good.

Naruto started to snuggle into Kakashi, nuzzling into his neck and taking in his scent before laying gentle kisses everywhere he could reach. Kakashi wrapped both of his arms around him and brought him in close before he began stroking his hair and just let Naruto explore him. 

“Hey Kakashi…” Naruto brought his face up to his level and let their noses touch before he hesitantly brought their lips together. Kakashi let out a sigh and squeezed him tighter, pulling Naruto into the kiss and opening his mouth slightly. He traced Naruto’s lips with his tongue and asked to be let inside. Naruto’s breath hitched at the sensation but he let his mouth fall open and their tongues began to move together… at first gently, hesitantly. But soon they were crashing together and Naruto was biting down on Kakashi’s bottom lip. Rutting himself up into the man and trying to bring himself as close to him as he could be. Kakashi let out a low moan before returning the favour and sticking his leg between Naruto’s so he would have something to grind into. Naruto was getting hotter by the second, feeling Kakashi’s hands all over him under his shirt and their lips and saliva becoming one was making him lose himself. Their tongues worked together perfectly as wet sounds and hot breaths filled the room. Naruto was losing it fast. He was so hard and his pants were becoming so uncomfortable. Naruto took Kakashi’s hands from behind him and guided them down to his crotch. 

“Please…”

“Touch me.” He mewled. 

Kakashi could feel it. That desire to finally feel Naruto again. But this time he wanted to feel his skin against his. With nothing between them. He’d made him wait for so long and he still wanted this. So that made it okay, right?

He took his hands away from where Naruto had placed them. Naruto huffed out a sigh, but then Kakashi began to delicately undress Naruto, kissing his way down his shoulders and arms as he did so. Then he removed his own shirt and brought their chests flush together. Naruto couldn’t help but let out a desperate moan. Feeling Kakashi so close to him was painfully good. Then Kakashi started to kiss him again, more passionately this time, and Naruto could tell immediately. This wasn’t a game. This was really happening. Kakashi worked Naruto’s mouth with his tongue, sweeping every inch of it. He always tasted so sweet. Naruto’s breathy moans and desperate gripping at Kakashi’s pants sent him over the edge. He gently pulled down Naruto’s pants and boxers, exposing his already painful erection, leaking pre-come onto his stomach. 

“I need you now.” Kakashi breathed into his ear with a sense of urgency as he reached out his hand to give Naruto what he so desperately wanted while at the same time unbuttoning his own pants and pulling them down as far as he could in the moment. Naruto’s eyes widened, although he was distracted by the hand around his dick he couldn’t help but gawk at what was before him. He assumed Kakashi was big by what he’d felt pressing into him before but… wow. Naruto was almost drooling. He wanted to touch it. He wanted to do so many things. But Kakashi just brought them closer together again. At first he didn’t know what was happening… until their cocks brushed together and they both let out a low groan. Naruto was shivering, and Kakashi was so close to losing his composure, but he had to make sure he was careful. He wanted to treasure the time he got to spend with Naruto, and this was no different. He took both of their cocks in his hand and began to stroke them slowly, leaning in again to kiss Naruto and letting him moan into his mouth. Once he’d gathered enough saliva from kissing, he pulled back and lowered his head, and to Naruto’s surprise, spat on them both. It made him shudder as Kakashi began to stroke them both with diligence, the extra lubricant and the fact that he could finally feel Kakashi was already driving him insane.

“Feels good.” Naruto whined, beginning to fuck up into Kakashi’s hands and meet his movements. 

“So good.” Kakashi breathed. They were so hot against each other, both dripping and twitching with each stroke of his hand. He was a pro, knowing exactly which spots to touch to have them both reeling. He tended to Naruto specifically, gaining the majority of his own pleasure just from having their cocks touching. He was so hot. So incredibly hot and wet that Kakashi was sure he was about to lose his mind and fuck him right there. His toes curled and he tried to ground himself, but he couldn’t fathom the pleasure he was feeling. He’d been with plenty of women but nothing compared to the sight of having this man next to him rutting up into his hands and begging for more.

“Please… I’m close.” Tears began to fall down his cheeks and he was twitching more and more, his balls tightening as he felt himself getting closer to the release he wanted so badly. Kakashi took one of his hands away, continuing to knead and stroke their cocks together with one hand while reaching the other around and squeezing Naruto’s ass cheeks. He yelped when he felt Kakashi put his hand between them and press a finger against his pretty pink hole. Kakashi couldn’t resist. He wanted to but he couldn’t.

Just as he was about to push a finger inside Naruto let out a muffled sob and exploded all over himself and Kakashi’s hands, his entire body shaking and the most sickeningly beautiful sounds leaving his gaping mouth. It sent Kakashi over the edge, the extra heat and the look on his face sending him into bliss. Before he had the chance to do anything else, he felt his orgasm hit him like a wave and he rubbed their cocks together one last time before he came all over them both, the biggest load he’d produced in a long time. 

They both panted and shivered, totally blissed out with this new experience they’d both had together. It was something truly special. Another secret for them to share. Another secret to add to the list that would only get longer.

Naruto almost told him he loved him as they came down, his head a blurry mess and his body even worse. But before he’d had the chance, he’d drifted off to sleep.

Kakashi carefully cleaned them both up before moving Naruto so his head was on his favourite spot. Kakashi’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so fun to write! Chapter 4 is already half written and will probably be up tonight or tomorrow! Thanks for reading! Any comments are appreciated!


	4. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Welcome home.” The three of them said to him with a smile. 

Hinata knew something wasn’t quite right. She just couldn’t put her finger on what that thing was. She spent her time thinking about it during the day when Boruto was on missions and Himawari was busy playing. One thing she had noticed though is that although Naruto was returning home less frequently than ever before—he’d never been so loving and diligent with the children as he was now. She was happy for that. He was getting along with Boruto better than ever before and was spending extra time with Hima. He was still kind to her, he always had been. He’d never in the entire time he’d known her said a bad word to her or about her, and Hinata was so thankful for that because during her life that hadn’t been the case with everyone she’d met. But he was distant. That much she knew for sure.

What she didn’t know though is that he was doing that out of a place of guilt. He’d built a family. He should be happy and content. He’d spent so long after his marriage, and after giving Hinata two beautiful children, working himself to the bone that he’d never stopped to think about what he really wanted. He loved Hinata. He knew that. She’d always been there for him. She’d always been at his side. So why didn’t he want to come home to her? Why didn’t his heart skip a beat when he saw her like it does when he sees Kakashi? When he sat down to think about it one night, he couldn’t remember it ever doing that with her. He’d been thinking about it that night in the woods before Kakashi had turned up. He’d always wanted to be Hokage. He knew that much. He’d always wanted a family. He knew that as well. But the more he thought about it the more he realised he should have been content with what he had. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to get married so soon. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to do some of the things he’d done. But it was done. It had happened. Now he was falling in love with another man and leaving his wife at home while he daydreamed about finally getting to feel Kakashi inside of him. It wasn’t right. But it was already too late. He was in too deep and while he sat at his desk he could feel the hands of lust and love gripping tightly at his throat, making it difficult for him to breathe. Making it difficult for him to think about anything else other than him.

He’d always admired Kakashi. He’d always been with Kakashi. They’d saved each other’s lives more than they could count and had also built a family together. Before Boruto was born. Before he was Hokage. Before he was married. He’d built something with Kakashi for the first time since he’d had the absolute pleasure of having Iruka at his side. Maybe, just maybe, that was why all of it felt so easy. Maybe that was why he couldn’t stop it even if he tried. He felt sick. He slumped over his desk while he thought over it all. He was in love with another man. He wrung his hands and really thought about it for a moment. He was genuinely falling for him. No—he had already fallen for him. He couldn’t go back, but what was even worse than that was him not wanting to. He’d convinced himself that because he hadn’t told him he loved him, that made it okay. He’d convinced himself that because he hadn’t had sex with him yet, that made it okay. But he wanted to. He wanted to tell him he loved him while Kakashi was buried deep inside him. He wanted to feel him as close as he possibly could. The thought of it alone was enough to have him red faced at his desk and half hard. Washing all the guilt away while he thought of what it would be like when they finally bonded like that. What would Kakashi’s face look like if he was inside him? After so many years. He’d always admired him. Was it always admiration? Was it just that?

The more he thought about it the more unsure he became and the more sick he felt that he knew he had to go home tonight and not go to Kakashi. He knew he had to. He couldn’t go there every chance he got. He had to see his wife. Had to eat with his children—that he wanted. He wanted to see Hima smile and bicker with Boruto. But he didn’t want to spend the night next to a woman he didn’t deserve. Next to a woman that had also done so much for him and risked her life for him more than once. But he didn’t want to be there at bed time. He didn’t feel right there. The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if he ever did. The more his mind continued to wonder, the more sick he felt. He didn’t know what was right anymore. All he knew was what he wanted. All he knew was what his body was telling him. It was telling him to go to him. It was telling him that he wanted him more than anyone. Wanted to be close to him as much as he possibly could—a feeling he wasn’t used to ever experiencing before.

He’d managed to calm himself down before finishing his work and going home for the night. Himawari was waiting for him when he opened the front door and he could smell food cooking in the kitchen. He smiled brightly at his daughter as he patted her head and made his way inside with her clinging to his ankles. 

“Welcome home.” The three of them said to him with a smile. 

“I’m home.” He smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is hightkey ooc but I reaaallllllyyy love this idea although literally no one asked for it. I'm sorry! Thanks for looking!


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